As time passed, it was apparent me and my Dad got on really well. I was gaining a very valuable and worthy relationship with him. He made me laugh, made me cry and made me think that I meant the world to him already.
I was telling mum how loving he was being and how I really appreciated him actually 'wanting' to talk to me and that it was dad making 100% the effort and I was rarely the one to instigate the convo, which was really lovely to feel wanted and that he values speaking to his daughter that he's never met. She spoke with me on the phone and said she was really happy with how things were going and she is really excited for me. I thanked her again for being so incredible and such an amazing mum, raising me practically on her own and always going above and beyond for me, I couldn't ever fault her. She brought me up like a queen.
It was November and I was looking at flights, I told dad though I didn't want to out any pressure on him meeting me.
Dad- Omg you have got to come to Georgia , we will go out on the Boat, go do pickleball, meet some friends and do lots of fun stuff! Shawnie , I think you will just love it over here. You can meet Cotton too! (His dog)
Me- Are you serious? There no doubt that I will love it. I am so excited.
Dad- Sure! I would love to meet y'all. I can come to Florida too?
Me- Well we could come and see you maybe for a weekend?
Dad- No! Y'all don't need to worry about just the weekend, come up for the whole two weeks if you want, I have a room for you and whenever you want to come and stay any time of the year you can.
Me- Do you really mean that?
It was crazy as fuck that my father wanted to arrange to meet me in person for the first time.
Dad- Ofcourse silly. I would love too, I could even meet you at the airport if you really wanted. Whatever y'all wanna do. But defiantly you will love it here.
booked it. Done.
I am going to America. To meet my dad!? How crazy is that. I am going to meet my Dad for the very first time in 2019. Only 190 ish days to go!!! I was going to start counting down the days until I met my dad but then realised that would just make time go slow. So I needed to stop doing that.
I told my Dad I booked the flights and he then started to conduct a plan on what we were going to do and all the plans he had in place. It was making me so excited. He was speaking about meeting family and introducing me the area he lives in.
Dad had text me and said
"You know, you mean the world to me and I know I haven't been there from the start but I want you to know you are my baby girl and that I love you so much. I cant wait to meet u. I can't imagine what the past 21 years have been like for you. You shared your story with me and soon we both will come face to face for the first time in May 2019. As difficult as this may be for both of us , I cannot wait to have our first hug,talk,laughter and tears together.I am proud of you. I love you. "
You know when you kind of cry but like you don't even blink and it streams down your face without having to blink to release the tears. This is what was happening. I was so overwhelmed and happy by what was going on in my life right now. It was so incredible to feel loved by someone who you thought could never love you.